Have you ever been too scared to look Truth in the eye?For what you might see may reveal the deep dead part of you? Has “head in your hands” been your posture for days?And a more bent and broken shape for your weary heart? What story lies behind your tough skin?How fast are the flash […]The Mask,The Chaos and The Truth
The first time your house-shaped
heart is wrecked
you are too young to realise
love can be a wolf.
They call it puppy love
but there is something
deeply violent in this,
too violent to be that innocent.
Slowly, you rebuild it.
you make it out of straw,
sturdier than no protection.
And again, it is wrecked.
Huffed and puffed into nothingness
by this dangerous thing
no one wants to call a wolf.
Again, you collect
from the wreckage,
promise yourself stronger,
make a wooden shelter.
But even this proves
futile, for the dark thing
that relishes destroying
your soft, wanting heart.
It takes you so much longer
to feel and trust again,
you build walls made of brick.
You think Not this time.
This time it will not find
a way to destroy me,
I have built stronger walls
than it can possibly handle.
Still the wolf comes.
Still the house-heart,
sturdy as you make it,
finds a way to crumble.
–Nikita Gill, Fierce Fairytales
“Trauma when left untreated has the ability to make a villain out of you”.Fierce Fairytales
The life of Arthur Fleck aka The Joker, best describes this quote above. Raised by a mother who suffered from psychological psychosis, as a child was malnourished, tied up, beaten up severally with blows sustained to the head. Later went on to suffer from Pseudobullbar disorder for which society ridiculed and rejected him, was unable to get proper treatment and meds. He found love then lost it, was mislead by his own mother concerning his medical condition, always saying “he is a happy child” and lied to him about his heritage.
“Trauma left untreated”
We say “none of us is truly born evil. Evil is man-made or is of the devil”. So who made Joker?
If you watched carefully, the life of Arthur Fleck aka Joker, led to another chain of events and helps to shed further light on the life of the one and only Bruce Wayne (BATMAN).
Bruce never started out as a hero. Yeah! I said that! His cap was born out of the traumatic event of JOKER’s new found identity, which led to the demise of Bruce’s identity as he seeks vengeance. Even as he fights the “bad guys”, you see it’s done with so much anger, bitterness and resentment he suffered as a child. Witnessing the murder of his parents and left to deal with the aftermath. TRAUMA!
Not even all the money in the world could save Bruce from the trauma he suffered that night. I know what you thinking, “hey but the took all that and turned into something good, becoming the BATMAN”.
Wrong! You so wrong! Look again!
Every time he put on that cape, went out into the night and saved someone, he was reliving the night of his parents murder. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
You can see the pain, anguish, the “trauma” he suffered in the way he dealt with his victims, brutal and quite severe. Every “bad guy” was the guy who killed his parents. Batman was greatly feared in Gotham, not for his heroism but for his brutality in dealing with these so called bad guys. He showed no mercy. In the movie “Dawn of Justice”, you get to see a more vivid imagery of Batman’s brutality, going as far as to brand his victims for which causes Superman’s distaste for his kind of justice and threatens to shut him down.
Then you also understand Bruce’s love for Clark later when he sacrifices his life to save the planet from DOOMSDAY. Don’t be sentimental. It ain’t all pretty.
This the very trauma Bruce had to deal with for more than half his life. Again you seeing the life of Joker and Batman, you get to understand the hatred between these two. Both men were a symbol of their respective traumas, left untreated. So who made Batman?
Batman’s appraoch to dealing with these so called “criminals” who mind you have also suffered from one trauma or another led to chain of events of deep seated hatred creating a circle of violence.
Batman was in another a villain also. While he saved you from danger, he was finding a way to cope with the “trauma” he suffered as a child. Every time he saved you, he was doing what he wished could have been done for his parents that black night.
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Oh dearie me,
did you come here
looking for a damsel in distress?
A queen patiently waiting
for a dashing knight
to save her from herself?
Did you really think
this was going
to end with you
playing the hero by bringing
the kindness out
of the evil queen?
Look again, love,
someone has lied to you
about my hidden virtue.
I have always loved
being the beast.
–Fierce Fairy Tales by Nikita
The most important gift we can give ourselves is the commitment to live our authentic life. To be true to ourselves however, is not an easy task. We must break free from the seductions of society and live life on our own terms, under our own values and aligned with our original dreams. We must tap our hidden selves, explore the deep-seated, unseen hopes, desires, strengths and weaknesses that make us who we are.We have to understand where we have been and know where we are going. Every decision we make, every step we take, must be informed by our commitment to living a life that is true and honest and authentic to ourselves and ourselves alone. And as we proceed, we are certain to experience fortune well beyond our highest imagination. —Excerpts from “The Secret Letters of the Monk who sold his Ferrari”
There is a lie that has crept into the heart of the believer in this age, telling us that we can love the things of the world and the things of God at the same time – Matt 6:24.
I have been a victim of that lie myself. It’s something that has become part of the believer’s lifestyle, e.g music, friends and conversations we engage in.
One minute we’re listening to secular music with poor and harmful lyrical content, the next we are listening to gospel and worship songs like nothing ever happened. Having friends that influence us negatively, ungodly corrupt conversations that dampen our Spirit man – 2 Cor 6:14-16.
We fail to realize that our hearts have become tainted, having dotted spots, no longer pure but black and white, ‘the grey area’. But there is no ‘grey area’ with God. For this is what Rev 3:15-16 talks about, being lukewarm, neither here nor there and this is what God says He rejects.
We go under the guise of ‘we are not perfect’, forgetting that we have been called unto perfection – Matt 5:48. We (the believer) try to seek God and mammon at the same time forgetting that we are to give up one for the other.
It’s a lie that has knowingly and unknowingly crept into the heart of today’s Christian, that we can be in the world and also be in Christ.
Four Days To Go
4 days to #NigeriaAt58 the nation embarks on a nationwide strike. All public institutions, businesses, shut down. Where are we going to and how are we progressing forward as a nation? Is there any hope for the future?
Workers are demanding a new minimum wage of about N50,000 from the current national minimum wage of N18,000. Talk about growth. What exactly are we celebrating?
“All public and private institutions, offices, banks, schools, public and private business premises, including filling station, are to remain shut till further notice,”
The Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association of Nigeria said it would join the strike as long as its labour centre – the Trade Union Congress – was involved.
That’s to say increase in transportation fare, fuel price increase, goods and services. Meanwhile those are the ones that manage to function despite the strike because to chop, man must work.
But the ASUU said it would consult with its leadership and trustees before joining the strike. The ASUU National President, Prof. Biodun Ogunyemi, told one of our correspondents on the telephone on Wednesday that he could not decide without an approval from the ASUU Executives.
But as of today students were stopped in the process of commencing their exams. Students have learnt to mentally add an additional year or two to the required years of study for a course because of #strike that comes in different forms.
The President of JUSUN, Mr Marwan Adamu, said in a statement on Wednesday that “effective from midnight on Wednesday” all courts in the country must remain closed pending a counter instruction from the National secretariat of the Union.
So all persons with legal issues are on hold till further notice.
Need I say more? No one is exempted from the blowback of this strike. I fail to see what is we celebrating #NigeriaAt58. We need to take step back, come together, and am not just referring the leaders and respective heads involved, but we as a people, a nation, to think on steps and act on those steps in steering in the nation in a positive direction. This should be a period of reflection, a positive kind of reflection that brings about results not just to complain and be bitter.
Let’s all try to remember this as we clock #NigeriaAt58
God bless you!
There is a sense of sadness deep on the inside of me. It threatens to engulf me and I strive to keep it at bay. It’s fueled by my current despair, by the battles in front of me.
Why? Because I have no strategy at hand to win it. Because the enemies forces seem overwhelming and I have no way of overcoming. But I think this is the point where am supposed to relax, put my trust in a higher power, One who I know is more than able to come to my rescue. So why yet do I still feel this sense of unease?
There is this heavy weight of guilt on my back.
What is it I have done wrong? I think I know.
I have repented of it. But why then does it still haunt me?
Why do I still fell like it constrains me from moving forward? Like am stuck and can’t move. In truth why do I still feel that God is angry with me? Like He has turned His face away from me? I have repented right?
Despair! I can feel it again, looming in on me. I really don’t want to sink into it again.
No! I don’t think so.
I think my heart is afraid to admit something to itself. And I know what it is. And as soon I do, it would be deprived of what it has latched unto.
In truth, deep down on the inside of me, I think I have lost my way again. Become distracted! Out of touch with my creator. If am honest, my thinking has been polluted with wrong ideologies. My heart, tainted. I keep hearing “in His presence” . I know whose presence. I have been away from it for a while now. I can feel it’s effects and yet I keep trying to deny it. Been feeling myself up with the wrong things, telling myself it’s okay, it doesn’t matter. I can manage the two. It’s not exactly bad and so why not. It’s just good.
Good according to who’s standard?
What comes next? Snap! Despair! With an overwhelming darkness.